Are the capital's pubs reaching peak kids?

“This customer was carrying drinks, and a child ran past him. The kid knocked him over and he fell — the glasses all smashed — and he cut his hand open as he landed on the floor. Blood everywhere. The kid's adult wasn’t anywhere nearby.”

I’m in a corner of the Kenton’s colourful beer garden in Hackney, where regular punter Chloe Downing and four friends are celebrating their mate's 35th birthday. Pints of Stella and half-empty bags of baccy lie on the slatted wooden table, as one black-bomber-jacketed friend shares horror stories from their days working in pubs. 

Children running amok, irresponsible parents, crowded spaces and a desire to create relaxing environments for drinkers have pushed some London pubs to call time on family boozer outings. This month, the Kenton introduced a full ban on under-18s at all times, hot on the heels of the William the Fourth in Leyton, which in November banned children after 7pm. Increasingly, it feels like there’s a tension between London’s regular pub goers and its parents, with more and more of its boozers calling time on kids in the bar. 

Unsurprisingly, it’s an emotive topic, sparking fiery exchanges between neighbours on Facebook groups and Instagram comment sections — as well as a flurry of clickbait articles (when I get in touch with the Kenton’s landlord, Egil, he tells me he’s not interested in doing press after spending “the last couple of days with the media”). 

“We’re very pro the ban!” Downing declares, sitting on a re-purposed beer crate-cum-soap box. “We all grew up in an era where as a child, going to the pub with an adult was a privilege. You sat down with your glass of coke, your bag of crisps, and you shut up.”  Her friends around the table crack up and nod.

“Unfortunately, now we’ve had many experiences where people’s kids run wild. You're carrying a tray of drinks and the kids are running underneath you, and the parents are just so uninterested. It's dangerous to the kids and to you, and it's just not right.”

A widespread trend?

It’s apt that visiting the Kenton proves difficult for me — as a parent, I’m only child-free during school hours. The pub opens at 4pm and taking my three kids is no longer viable, though I consider trying to sneak them in by stacking each on another’s shoulders, and dressing them in an overcoat, trilby and fake moustache. Instead, I book a babysitter, and head out for an adult-only evening.

It’s blowing a gale when I arrive. The streets are empty, just litter and Lime bikes lying on the pavements. But when I step into the pub, a warm energy and the sound of laughter envelopes me. Every table is full of drinkers waiting for the weekly quiz to start. Bar staff chat invitingly to regulars. And I can’t stop gawping at the decor and nicknacks all around: a giant playmobil figure, a stuffed moose head, porcelain dog statues, toys and chintz on every shelf, while Iron Maiden posters, disco balls and chandeliers adorn the ceiling. It’s a bit like a kid’s dreamland, though the space feels too small to accommodate children — it’s hard to imagine they wouldn’t have felt hemmed in, or tempted to climb on the furniture.

News of the ban spread across social media like a drink spilled across a bar, and already there are new Google reviews weighing in on the move. Most are supportive: “Running screaming here to support this venue as it's childfree and quite frankly more places need to be like this. Bravo!” says one. But there are also offended reviewers — some who appear to have never visited the pub. “What a horrible policy to ban children from the venue,” one man writes. “This type of behaviour should be vehemently discourage [sic] so it doesn’t become a widespread trend.”